When I found out I was having a baby girl, I was flooded with emotion.
First, I thought of the powerful bond I had with my own mother—and wondered if I could nurture the same closeness with my daughter.
Second, I felt the weight of raising a strong, intelligent, and resilient young woman in today’s world—a responsibility that feels vastly different from raising my son, Fox.
There’s a certain ease that came with raising a boy, knowing he would face fewer barriers simply because of his gender, race, and physical abilities. That truth was both comforting and unsettling. With my daughter Ever, I was suddenly acutely aware of the invisible—and often unfair—standards women are held to.
The Unspoken Pressures Girls Face
Girls are expected to walk a tightrope: be confident but not too bold, smart but not intimidating, fit but not vain, successful but still humble.
Add to that the real-world challenges—gender pay gaps, safety concerns, and societal pressures—and it becomes clear that raising a daughter today is about more than love and care. It’s about strategy, strength, and support.
Conscious Parenting with Intention
When I was pregnant with Ever, I even turned to therapy to help me prepare. My husband, Benji, and I made a joint commitment: to parent both our kids consciously, with special attention to building Ever’s relationship with her father—a strong and stable male role model I never had.
If a father figure isn’t present, it’s still possible to surround daughters with other strong male influences—mentors, uncles, family friends—who model kindness, accountability, and respect.
Creating a Foundation for Confidence
Our top priority is raising a girl who:
- Feels heard and seen
- Is comfortable with independence
- Embraces leadership
- Is confident expressing even “irrational” emotions without shame
We want her to know her voice matters—especially when she’s told it doesn’t. We introduce her to empowering female stories, like Vicky the Vet, and highlight women thriving in motherhood, careers, and leadership roles. We want her to see that all doors are open.
Nurturing Strength from the Start
Between birth and age seven, children form essential neural pathways. That’s why we’ve focused early on teaching her about:
- Emotional awareness
- Assertiveness
- Boundaries
- Resilience
Even though Ever is naturally independent, we aim to reinforce that her thoughts, fears, and feelings are valid and important.
A Hope for the Future
As we celebrated International Women’s Day 2024, I found myself reflecting not just on Ever’s journey—but on mine.
My deepest hope is to raise a girl who is tenacious, brave, emotionally in tune, and fully prepared to thrive in a world that might try to hold her back.
