As parents, we want our children to grow up with strong values—but how do we instill them effectively? Experts agree that teaching values isn’t about grand lectures; it’s about modeling behaviors and seizing everyday moments to guide them.
Here are 7 core values to nurture in your child before age 10, along with practical ways to teach them:
1. Honesty: Lead by Example
Children learn honesty through your actions, not just words. Avoid “white lies” (e.g., fibbing about their age to save money), as these teach inconsistency.
Try this:
- If your child lies (e.g., denying they broke a toy), stay calm. Say: “I appreciate it when you tell the truth. Can you try again?”
- Praise honesty even when admitting mistakes: “It was brave to tell me what happened. Let’s fix it together.”
2. Responsibility: Link Actions to Consequences
Teach accountability by setting clear expectations and natural consequences. For example:
- “If you forget your lunch, you’ll need to problem-solve with your teacher.”
Key tip:
As kids enter school, shift from “Because I said so” to “What do you think is the right choice?” This builds critical thinking.
3. Curiosity: Embrace the “Why” Phase
When your child asks “Why do people get sick?” or “Why is that person sad?”, resist the urge to lecture. Instead:
- Ask back: “What do you think?”
- Explore together: “Let’s find out!” (Read a book or research online.)
Curiosity teaches empathy and problem-solving.
4. Respect: Model Tolerance
Respect isn’t just saying “please” and “thank you”—it’s valuing differences.
Example:
If your child questions someone’s beliefs (e.g., “Why do they pray differently?”), say:
“People have unique ways of understanding the world. What’s something you admire about their tradition?”
5. Empathy: Use Play to Teach
During playdates, gently guide your child to notice others’ feelings:
- “How do you think Emma felt when you took her toy? How would you feel?”
- Role-play scenarios like sharing or apologizing.
Empathy strengthens friendships and conflict resolution.
6. Persistence: Let Them Fail
Avoid “helicopter parenting.” If your child struggles with homework:
- Don’t: Fix it for them.
- Do: “This is tough! What’s one thing you could try?”
Praise effort: “You kept going even when it was hard—that’s how we learn!”
7. Open Communication: Listen First
Create a “no-judgment” zone for big feelings:
- Instead of: “Don’t cry over a lost game.”
- Try: “Losing feels awful. I get it. Want to talk?”
For shy kids:
- Use indirect chats (e.g., during car rides or bedtime).
- Partner with teachers to gently encourage social skills.
Final Thought
Values aren’t taught overnight—they’re woven into daily life through patience, consistency, and your own example. Start small, and watch them grow!
