Q1: Our college daughter wants her boyfriend to stay over. How should we handle this?
Reader’s Concern:
Our 20-year-old daughter is bringing her college boyfriend home for summer break. I expect him to sleep in the guest room, but my wife argues they already live together at school. While I understand, I’m uncomfortable openly allowing them to share a room under our roof. Is this just my Catholic upbringing talking, or is my stance reasonable?
Amy’s Advice:
Your discomfort is valid—it’s less about religion and more about paternal instinct. That protective urge, especially toward daughters, is deeply ingrained. Here’s a compromise:
• Set boundaries kindly: Offer two bedrooms but don’t police their choices.
• Get to know him: Host dinners or outings to ease your concerns.
• Let go gradually: Parenting adults means accepting their autonomy, even when it’s hard.
Q2: My online love interest vanished after claiming she had cancer. What now?
Reader’s Story:
After months of calls and texts, a woman I met online canceled our first meetup last-minute, citing emergency cancer tests. She then cut contact entirely. Was this a cruel lie, or should I believe her?
Amy’s Take:
• Respect her space: If true, she may need privacy to cope. Send one kind message (e.g., “Wishing you strength”), then step back.
• Stay cautious: Sadly, catfishing exists. If she reappears, gently verify details.
• Lesson learned: Aim to meet sooner (within 2-3 months) to avoid prolonged uncertainty.
Q3: How strict should parents be about teens’ risky friends?
Follow-Up:
Readers questioned Amy’s past advice that “some risk-taking is normal for teens.” Where’s the line?
Amy’s Clarification:
✔ Normal experimentation (e.g., sneaking beer) → Guide with open conversations.
✖ Dangerous patterns (e.g., drugs, reckless driving) → Intervene firmly, even alerting other parents if needed.
Key: Teach discernment—not control—so kids learn to assess risks themselves.
