“Because I Said So” No Longer Works: Why Today’s Youth Demand a New Approach​
By Danit Schusterman, Educator & Parenting Coach
As an educator with 25 years of experience, a soon-to-be Master’s graduate in Education and Special Education, and a parent of teenagers, I’ve witnessed a generational shift that demands our attention. The authoritarian parenting mantra of “Because I said so” has lost its effectiveness – and that’s not a bad thing.
The “Entitled” Generation? A Different Perspective
When I asked Leah S., a thoughtful young woman in her early 20s, about her generation being labeled “entitled,” her response was illuminating:
“We’re not entitled – we’re awakened. Our generation understands we deserve goodness, just as our souls intuitively connect to the era of Moshiach. When we encounter imperfection, we don’t accept it as inevitable; we believe in creating better. Previous generations preserved Judaism through rules; we seek to live it through meaning.”
From Authority to Understanding: A Parenting Evolution
The Rambam teaches the value of balanced character traits. Similarly, modern parenting requires neither pure authoritarianism nor unchecked permissiveness, but what I call ​​”Engaged Parenting”​:
- ​Clear boundaries​ paired with ​empathic communication​
- ​Tradition​ grounded in ​authentic understanding​
- ​Guidance​ that respects a child’s ​need for purpose​
The Call to Action for Parents and Educators
This generation challenges us to grow alongside them. They don’t reject authority – they demand it be earned through:
- ​Transparency​ (“This is why this matters…”)
- ​Emotional Availability​ (“I hear your perspective…”)
- ​Shared Purpose​ (“Let’s build this together…”)
The end of “Because I said so” isn’t a loss of control; it’s an invitation to deeper connection. As we guide this spiritually attuned generation, our greatest tool isn’t authority – it’s the courage to evolve with them.
